Follow Your Heart
My husband told me many years ago that I was a ‘control freak’ because I would try to fix everything. When he told me that I remember being deeply offended.
Did he not know that I knew what was best for everybody (insert sarcasm)?
Because of how I felt, I believed I knew what was best for everybody. Feelings are always accurate, right?
However, what I felt during really had nothing to do with what was really happening. Rarely, were things so out of control that I needed to react (okay, overreact) in anger or frustration.
Time To Grow Up
As I am now approaching 43 years old, instead of out-of-control emotions, I tend to be more logical and cautious. Rather than being judgemental, I can be gracious. And instead of reacting without thinking, I pray first, each and every time. Implementing these simple changes earlier in my life, would have had a huge impact on my relationships back in the day.
I would love to say that now my life is completely calm because everything goes smoothly each and every time. However, that would be a big fat lie. In fact, these past few days nothing has gone my way, but how I handle it now versus how I handled it years ago, have changed dramatically.
Change Will Do Ya Good
My plans have been thwarted these past few weeks due to sick children, winter vacation, new puppy, and other situations. And I was looking forward to my Monday and being able to get back on schedule. I was feeling somewhat lost and was craving normalcy in my life.
However, when I woke up my tween daughter for school, I realized she was sick, yet again. High fever, dizzy, and swollen glands- you name it, she had it.
It did not deter me, one kid home is not a big deal, right?
On the way to school our vehicle died. Middle-of-the-road died, with cars in back of me lined up.
On a prayer and through gritted teeth, I was able to get my children to school.
Anxious to get home and put the first part of the morning behind me, I trudged on and happily returned home. Before I attacked my impending chore list for the day, I first decided to sort out the youngest child’s toys.
As soon as I started going through her toys, I had the brilliant idea of switching them out for some more toys she had grown into. This led to me moving bookshelves, toy bins, and to the new thought of changing household furniture. I also began moving around our office furniture because I wanted something different.
Well, since I was moving furniture I decided to clean and declutter as well. One simple task of sorting toys, in short, turned my entire household upside down for an entire day. Boxes, dressers, clothing, cleaning supplies, and garbage just kept mounting and adding to the mess.
In the midst of this, I decided it would be a good time to sell some stuff that I was getting rid of, so I had piles of stuff everywhere.
My chore list actually included none of these activities. It was overwhelming knowing what I had gotten myself into and knowing what needed to be done. Also, in the back of my mind was the fact that I had not done dishes in a day due to sick children and other previously arranged plans.
When It Rains, It Pours
Later on in the evening:
The dog puked
Another kid became ill
I was not able to go grocery shopping due to the electrical problems in our Suburban
My eight-year-old daughter fell off of a ladder and broke her two front teeth
My three-year old (who is dealing with an ear infection)
I started feeling ill and developed a fever
But…..dinner still had to be made, dishes needed to be done, laundry was still waiting, and kids needed help with homework.
His Mercies Are New Each Morning
With prayer and hot tea, I was able to function this morning. Currently, I have three children home sick and three at school. I have a smile on my face and joy in my heart. Not because my children are home or sick, but because God is so good. Through good and bad, He remains faithful. He is so good, so loving, and so patient with me.
We are reminded in Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
His gentle reminders are everywhere that we are not in control, and that we need to trust Him. Even when nothing goes our way, we need to trust Him through it all. For me, it has been sick kids, off-kilter household craziness, broken teeth, trips to the dentist, and a puppy that is into everything.
I don’t know why things don’t go as planned yesterday, but I am still trusting God.
Today was not my day.
Yesterday was not my day.
My plans did not go as I intended.
I have peace.
I have joy.
I trust in His goodness.
I trust His plans for my life.
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding (Proverbs 3:5)
When you learn to trust the Lord wholly and completely, then you can begin to have a sense of rest in Him. You begin to realize that God has everything under control even when life appears to be out of control. Trusting God when you don’t understand brings you to a point where you decide to trust God and NOT in your own logic and understanding.
As Christians, we must make a decision to trust God regardless of how scary the situation may seem. Trusting God doesn’t prevent you from being in uncomfortable situations but it does allow you to be placed in a position where you seek the Lord’s presence, provisions, guidance, and promises.
May I encourage you to stop stressing yourself out- losing sleep, being weary, anxious, worried, depressed and sad. Don’t try to understand the ways of God because it is impossible for you to understand His decisions and ways! (Romans 11:33). The natural man cannot understand the things of God. For God’s ways are higher than mans, they are past finding out and this is why we must make a decision to trust our all-knowing God.