Biblical womanhood · Marriage

Proverbs 14:1: Home Builder or Home Wrecker? How to Be a Wise Woman

As mothers and wives, and the keepers of our home, we hold the heart of our home in our hands.  Through our prayers, actions, and guidance we help shape and mold who lives within the four walls of our home.

We must also remember that even though we can have a lot of influence, that we still have priorities and Biblical guidelines to adhere and hold ourselves accountable to. Stepping out of the boundaries that God created for us is unnatural and also a perversion of God’s written word. It will not bring forth any peace within our homes if we are living life contrary to how the Lord intended it.

“Every wise woman buildeth her house, but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” Proverbs 14:1

Bible, P ray, Scripture, Meditate, 2018

Differences between Wisdom and Foolishness

So, what is a wise woman? And defines a foolish woman?

Wisdom is the main theme woven throughout the book of Proverbs. Wisdom is “to become wise in the habit of receiving and acquiring God’s wisdom. To discriminate between what is good and evil from God’s perspective, To receive instruction and to exercise correct judgment, Intelligent, sensible and endued with reason and using it. Wise from the experiences of life and of human affairs and relationships, Skilled in divine things, stores God’s wisdom in the heart. (Harley Howard Sermon)

On the other extreme, there is foolishness. Foolishness throughout the book of Proverbs is seen in those who do not take God’s perspective on things.

Foolishness and wisdom are not intellectual issues, but moral issues. Psalm 14:1 says, “a fool says in his heart, there is no God. They are corrupt, they do abominable deeds; there is none who does good.”  On the other hand, according to Proverbs 9:10, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.”

A fool does not recognize God, abide by His word, or live life according to the Scriptures. When a wise person chooses to love, obey, and follow the written Word of God.

A Wise Woman Builds Up Her Home

Lori Alexander, from The Transformed Wife, shares in her blog post, How Wise Women Build Up Their Homes, how a woman can build up or tear down her home through the power of her tongue. “Our words build up or destroy, give life or death. Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof (Proverbs 18:21). If you have a problem with your tongue, begin memorizing verses about the tongue and using it for good; for this is what transforms us! Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers (Ephesians 4:29). ” (Lori Alexander)

Keepers of the home, be wise, 2018, don't tear home down, foolish woman

Living Contrary to the Word, as a Foolish Woman

If you are not building up your home, then you are guilty of tearing it down.  It says in Proverbs 14:1 “Every wise woman buildeth her house; but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.”  

Even though we should take the Bible literally, in the sense when it is talking about a woman tearing down her house, it does not mean the woman is physically tearing her house apart with bare hands. Instead, she does it through thoughtless words and actions.

Here are a few ways a woman can foolishly tear her house down:

:  Focus on our self more than others

:  Neglecting to train children

:  Not managing our homes properly

:  Gossipping and slandering

:  Putting husband and children before God

:  Allowing ourself to be controlled by emotions

:  Not being submissive to our husbands

:  Not staying within our budget

:  Lying to husband

There are many more ways that a woman’s folly can lead to the destruction of her home, however, foolish behavior is destructive and not productive for our families.

How Can I Become a Wise Woman?

  1. Start every day off with quiet time in your own war room.
  2. Do this at the same time every day.
  3. Keep a list of your prayer requests and praise reports.
  4. Give thanks to God for everything.
  5. Pray for wisdom and discernment in your role as keeper of the home.
  6. Strive to keep your priorities straight: God, husband, children, and then self.




How Does a Wise Woman Build Up Her Home?

She prays that God’s will is done in her life and that He will also guide her in every decision. (James 1:5)

She submits to her husband within the marriage. (Ephesians 5:22)

She seeks God’s will in child rearing and trains them up in the way they should go. (Proverbs 22:6)

She is a good steward of the finances and is frugal

She realizes that she has choices to make in the following areas:

The power to walk in faith through her actions and prayer, or that she can walk blindly

The choice to be wise or foolish

That she can either be active or reactive

She can choose to scowl or smile

She can choose joy and peace or sorrow and anger

She has the power to build up or to destroy

That she can guard her heart, soul, and mind against evil

And that she can choose to strengthen her life and those around her

We have the choice to build up our home through wisdom and discernment…..Or we can choose to destroy and wreck our home through foolish actions. There is no better way to begin gaining wisdom than by reading the Bible, prayer, and seeking the counsel of a Godly Titus 2 woman.

I have included some Scripture that you can begin to meditate on in your quest to becoming a wiser woman that builds up her home.

You can find them here by clicking on the link below:     Scripture for 2018.


Stephanie, Training Keepers of the Home




5 thoughts on “Proverbs 14:1: Home Builder or Home Wrecker? How to Be a Wise Woman

  1. Thank you for this post. It is so helpful in times like this when so many women are foolish and tearing it down. I can only pray that I continue to grow in wisdom regarding my marriage and parenting.

  2. I loved the refreshing perspective here! It is so important to GET RID OF bad habits and REPLACE them with good habits. The two things have to work together, otherwise there will be no progress! Thanks for the encouragement to get my spiritual habits in order.

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