Six Valuable Lessons that My Mother Taught Me
Growing up my father, mother, and brother were quiet souls who were content staying home and living a fairly peaceful life; I wasn’t.
In my youth, I was a loud and talkative child who was always on the go. I wanted to see the world and explore, and certainly was not content with ‘staying home’ like so many other women in my family.
In fact, as soon as I could I began looking at colleges to attend so I could ‘escape’ and do something with my life. I just knew that I would not be happy being a stay at home mother like everybody else in my family. (yes, I actually thought that).
However, through the course of college, marriage, and a career; the Lord had worked in my heart and has transformed it into what it is today as a woman, wife, mother, and sister in Christ.
Looking back I can now see where the Lord used my mother to plant those seeds, even if I was not allowing them to be cultivated at that time. After all, it is nearly impossible to sow in such harsh soil, let alone, reap a harvest. (The reaping came later.)
If I could go back in time and spend more time listening to my mom, working alongside her, and ask questions I would do it in a heartbeat.
If I would have known about these things prior to getting older, I would have embraced them wholly. But yet I did not. So here I am today at the age of 44 with a transformed heart reaping the harvest that my mother planted so many years ago.
There are six valuable lessons that I have learned from my mother that have influenced me today as a wife and mother.
- Motherhood is a blessing, but don’t put your children before your husband. Keep your priorities in order and your marriage will thrive and your children will feel secure. God is a God of order, and it is important that we live out our life in accordance to those priorities (God, husband, children, home, self……)
- Self-discipline pays off in all areas of life. Work first and play later. Through a life where self control is exercised, there are sweet rewards when reaping the fruits of your labor.
My mother was a hard-working woman who woke up before the entire family to do her chores and be prepared for the day. She was a woman who served others in the family first before herself. And with our extended family nearby by, my mother was often the first to lend a hand in any way she saw necessary.
My brother and I grew up working alongside our mother by doing yard work, hauling fire wood, or spring cleaning our extended family’s homes on a regular basis.
She was a very disciplined wife and mother. And I have learned much from her because of it. Even though discipline often seems like such a harsh concept I have learned to embrace it because it is our lifeline as Christian women. A disciplined life makes for an organized life.
“The apostle Paul links the idea of discipline with spiritual life: “Train yourself for godliness”—referring to a spiritual workout—for “godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come” (1 Timothy 4:7-8). A Christian woman’s life is about bringing her will and every area of her life under submission to God’s will. ” Barbara Hughes
- Place More Value on Wisdom, Not Education. College does not automatically equal success. Years ago my parents told me that I did not have to attend college and I wish that I would have listened. However, I felt that it was a rite of passage for a high school graduate and insisted on attending. In fact, I placed more of an emphasis on how ‘smart’ I was because of my good grades. When I should have pursued wisdom with more vigor than than a higher education. (Read why we are not forcing our children to attend college)
My mother was a very wise woman with a lot of common sense. She lived her life according to the principles she learned from mother and grandmother. These lessons served her well in marriage, in parenting, and in homemaking.
Many who attend college do so without having so much of a clue as to what they want to do, and in the meanwhile racking up thousands of dollars of debt. According to the College Board, the average cumulative student debt balance in 2017 was $26,900 for graduates of public four-year schools.
And out of those who graduated college only 27% are working in their specific field of study. The point is that college is a serious decision, and many young adults are being encouraged to make a serious (financial and future) decision when considering attending. This is where it is important to have some wisdom and consider all options when making such a big decision.
Or this article on Proverbs 31 lessons that I learned from my mother, grandmother, and great grandmother.
- It is okay to pursue homemaking instead of a career. Homemaking is a worthy calling. The job that wife and mothers have, (the managing of the home), is one of the most important jobs on this earth. Christian mothers have a tremendous sphere of influence over their children. We must never downplay or diminish the roles that God has assigned us as mothers. With our words and actions we have the blessed ability to speak life into our homes, thus influencing generations of children to come. Homemaking is a worthy calling and honorable ministry. Despite what society defines as success, often the sweetest rewards are the love of a family; and you knowing you are right where you belong.
- It is okay to rest. My mother was a hard-working mother, up before the family with most of her work done by the time we awoke. But as hard working as she was, she also knew how to rest. Whether it was the time we spent visiting relatives, going for walks, or sitting out on our back patio; I remember my mother just being still. This is how she recharged and was refreshed. In a world where busyness is proudly worn like a badge; the importance of rest is often diminished. After all, if the Lord created rest, it must be something beautiful and necessary. “For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.” Exodus 20:11
- Keep things simple. My mother was one who lived a life of simplicity and that was evident by the choices in her daily life and in her home. She preferred not to own a bunch of kitchen gadgets, have a huge wardrobe, keep a busy schedule, or go overboard on preparing our meals. It took my mother less time to clean the house with less material items. We were free to go for walks, read books, work in the garden, help other family members, or host gatherings because our lives were not filled with extra fluff. This lesson in simplicity has been carried over into my life today. Less stuff, less drama, less fuss, less work, less stress, less worry = more enjoyment as a whole.
If you are a teenager, young woman, or even older woman who is still blessed to have her mother in her life; take a hold of those lessons that she has taught you and apply them in your own life.
And if you did not have a mother who you could learn from; look for a Titus 2 mentor in real life or online where you can find such encouragement.
The holy pursuit of wisdom is one of the most beautiful things in a woman’s life. Because she is seeking out God’s will consistently for her life.
I want to encourage you to never stop learning. No matter what age or stage in life you are, there is always something more to learn.
Stephanie, Training Keepers of the Home