Overwhelmed as a Homemaker?- Learning How to Say No and Reclaim Your Time Back
As women we tend to be ‘yes’ people.
We tend to say yes when asked because we feel its expected or it is the ‘right’ thing to do.
We say yes because we are mothers, wives, neighbors, sisters, daughters, friends, and just plain good people who want to please everybody.
We say yes to our children’s school, family members requests, church committees, and even to our close friends that expect us to be say yes to various requests.
All of these requests, demands, and expectations tend to cause us to feel overwhelmed, burdened, and stressed out. We have become too busy!
Busy Homemaker or Not?
If your schedule allows you to take on extra activities, and allows you to volunteer your time and you do not get overwhelmed; what a blessing that is. And as long as your priorities being served in the proper order (God, husband, children, home…..) you probably are balancing life healthily.
However, if your ‘extracurricular’ activities have taken away from your most important priorities (God, husband, children, home) than it may be time to start using a two letter magical word NO!
All Homemakers Get Overwhelmed at Times
About 5 years ago, I entered upon a very busy season in my life.
I had five small children, was pregnant with our 6th child, our son had just died, we had just bought a new house and we were moving.
During this time, I remember the various expectations placed on my shoulders. I was being pulled in all directions and was unable to fulfill my own obligations and responsibilities.
Being overwhelmed and stressed were common place at that time of my life.
I was miserable as I was trying to please everybody and still be a good wife and mother. But I was failing, until…..
My husband finally told me, “Steph, you don’t have to do everything that is asked of you. I want you to start saying NO to anything that is unnecessary or that takes away from your time at home or that involves the family.”
You Can Say No, Too!
Hearing that gave me permission to start say no and in the process, I began being extremely selective about what and how I spent my time.
And that is what I want to share with you, how to start saying no in areas or to those things that detract from your priorities.
You can say no, maintain your most important priorities, and continue serving the Lord.
We don’t have to say YES to everything, especially if it takes what is the most important to us.
“Our family deserves the best of us. Not the rest of us.”\
Just because we’re a woman or a homemaker does not mean we have to be involved in everything or say yes to everything.
For example, take a look at this areas that we are commonly expected to serve in.
- Ladies nights for church or friends
- Kid activities (I said no for them, saving us all time)
- Church activities
- Family requests for our time
- School activities
- Extracurricular activities
- Social media expectations
- Babysitting other children
- Various fundraisers
- Baby or wedding showers
- Parties- for co-workers, friends, or family
Learn how to Say No
You no longer have to stay an overwhelmed homemaker. Give the gift of your own time back to yourself, your family, your home, and to those things that truly matter.
- Remember your priorities. Keep those things most important to you in your line of vision at all times. (God, husband, children, home, friends, extended family, church, perhaps a job, and yourself). Each list will vary woman to woman, but by keeping your eyes on your priorities allows you stay focused, thus saying no other demands or requests.
- Keep your goals in mind. What do you want to accomplish? Tell yourself, “how can I accomplish my goals if I am too busy?”
- Stick to a schedule.
- Quit trying to achieve perfection. You cannot please everybody. Quit trying to make everybody happy, it is impossible and in the end you are the one who loses because you give up your precious time.
- Just say NO….it is a kneejerk reaction to say YES…but give yourself permission to say NO.
- Establish personal boundaries to requests that threaten your time and resources.
- Avoid the guilt…it may seem strange to say no at first, but tell yourself it is okay. The more you say it, the easier it becomes.
- Stay firm. You do not need to give a reason to anybody on why you said no. Don’t allow yourself to become persuaded by compliments, reasoning, or guilt.
- Say NO and mean it!