Biblical womanhood · Encouragement · Marriage · Parenting

How to Win Over a Unbelieving Husband

How to Win Over a Non-Believing Husband

Many Christian women live with unbelieving husbands which often makes tense moments or frustrating situations in marriage and/or parenting.

A husband who is “disobedient to the word” is considered an unbeliever. (1 Peter 2:7)

What does God want for the wife of a non-believer?

God wants you to evangelize your husband and to “….win him without a word by your behavior as he observes your chaste and respectful behavior.” (1 Peter 3:1-2 emphasis added)

How is a wife to win over her non-believing husband?

  1. Don’t preach at or to him; instead pray for him.
  2. Enjoy him.
  3. Love him.
  4. Respect him.
  5. Be kind to him.
  6. Be patient with him.
  7. Be careful how you portray him to others. Speak kindly and respectfully of him. Be careful not to gossip about his shortcomings. .
  8. Remember that he is a sinner (like you), all sins are forgivable, and God’s grace can do great things in his life.
  9. Give thanks for your husband, his hard work, his parenting, his provisions for the family, and his good qualities.
  10. Pray for a heart that will see him as the husband and father of your children; instead of focusing on the fact he is not a believer.
  11. Don’t expect him to act like a Christian when he is not one.
  12. Don’t get angry at him when he does not want to go to church or a Bible study with you.
  13. Respond to him with “chaste and respectful behavior” because a wife’s godliness will do more toward softening her husband’s heart than an angry and bitter spirit within her.
  14. Just because you’re a Christian, attend church, and may know the Bible does not make you superior. It is important to guard your heart in this area, as many women start to see other Christian men as more ‘suitable’ than their own husband’s as they grieve what they don’t have in their husband’s (lack of relationship with Christ), but desire for him to have. Don’t allow this desire to ruin your relationship with your husband.
  15. Remember the mission is to ‘win’ your husband’s heart for Christ in order that he may become saved and become free in Christ, like you are. Don’t make this a battle ground. Stay humble. Stay in the Word. Stay on your knees. Your husband’s soul is worth it.
  16. If you want to win your husband to Christ and if you want to make the maximum impact on the life of an unsaved man, then be a submissive wife.

Submission is God’s design.  

Women are to be submissive to their own husbands. It does not mean that we are inferior or less than our husbands in any way, it is part of God’s created order.

We are not inferior in intelligence, social standing, or in God’s sight. Submission means that we are to take our natural place under our husband’s headship. Christ is the head of man, God is the head of Christ, the man is the head of the woman. 

“The lovely, gracious, gentle submission of a Christian woman to her unsaved husband is the strongest evangelistic tool she has.  It’s not what she says, it is what she is.  The woman is to submit to her husband’s leadership. That is a God-designed principle.  Wives, submit to your husbands, Ephesians 5:22, wives, submit to your husbands.  In each case your own husband, Colossians 3:18.  The same thing comes from Paul in Titus 2:4 and 5, “Young women are to be subject to their own husbands.”   (John McArthur, Grace to You)

Know that......"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Cor. 13:4-7

"Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their when they see the purity and reverence of your lives." 1 Peter 3:1-2

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