How is your marriage?
Would you like to have more Biblically sound marriage?
Does your husband feel like he is a priority in your marriage?
If so, you are not going to want to miss today’s guest post by my friend, Tiffany Montgomery, from HopeJoyInChrist. She has some great tips on how to make your husband a priority and also a chance to win her new course, that she just launched today!
How to Make Your Husband a Priority in a Christian Marriage
Exhausted I fall into bed beside my husband after a long day. Mentally I am checking off that never-ending to-do list.
Kids washed – teeth brushed (why is this still a battle?)
Bible study – sort of (does 3 verses from Proverbs – while being interrupted about cups and breakfast count?)
Exercise – didn’t make it to the gym today (maybe tomorrow)
Did I brush my teeth today?
On and on it goes as I analyze the day, mentally shifting my list into tomorrow. Hubby reaches over to knowingly rub my back. Ug, I have nothing left to give, I really do have a headache, my eyes are already closed… “Maybe he’ll think I am asleep if I just lay really still and ignore his prompt,” I think.
Can you relate?
How did I get all the way through my list and have nothing on it about my husband? Why didn’t I add him to the list? Should I have had to add him to the list?
Guilt. Embarrassment. Shame. Fear.
Stop right there, lady! That is not what today is about. Life gets busy and we need grace. Give yourself grace right this moment. I am giving it to myself as well.
We can’t undo all the days we have left Hubby off the list, but we can make a plan to make him a Priority today and tomorrow and the endless tomorrows in the future of our Marriage.
I don’t like to be an afterthought in his life… so I know he doesn’t like that either. Would you agree we need to make a plan?
Even the Bible tells us of the wisdom in showing love this way
Romans 12:10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor;
3 Practical ways to show your husband he is a priority in your life!
Pick the one that you know will mean the most to your husband.
- Uninterrupted time (James 1:9)
This Life runs at breakneck speed and I have to make a plan to give my husband uninterrupted time. You know the things that interrupt your time together – these are just a few of mine.
- I have to send the kids to the other room so they are not interrupting or distracting the conversation (or maybe that’s just my kids 😉).
- This has been a training process but over the past 2 years they have learned that when we sit down together and say “Mommy Daddy time” they are not to interrupt (unless it’s an emergency – which we have then had to define… lol parenting is a fun ride!)
- Listen when he talks
- I know it seems implied but, I have to make his need for my time a priority mentally.
- This means clearing my thoughts of other things to just listen
- If he comes in with a desire to talk I stop what I am doing and just focus on him
- even if it means I have to re-do something later on (like the ironing).
- Put down the phone/tablet and focus on him rather than social media (which is harder to do than I realized!)
- Praise (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
Go with me on this for a second. It is so easy to criticize the mistakes others make – especially our husbands mistakes. How often do we think about and voice the good qualities about him or the things he did well? Men have a deep need for admiration and appreciation – it speaks respect to them. So the things I try to do are:
- Praise him to his face.
- Tell him about the good things you noticed him doing.
- Remind him about the things that you love in his character
- Talk openly about the things you see God changing and growing in his soul
- Praise him behind his back.
- Brag about the good things he is doing to others.
- Tell your girlfriends about the ways he is growing
You will earn his respect and others will respect him more – further building him up.
- Take note of his small requests and preferences (Philippians 2:3)
I tend to be very self-centered – thinking about how to do things the way I prefer. There is nothing wrong with having preferences in life – we all have them. What I am suggesting is that you take time to get to know your man anew and learn what he prefers.
Let me give you some example.
- Buying special food he likes.
- For us, this means that I fix spaghetti once a week for dinner because he likes it.
- Watch a show he prefers.
- I would prefer to read a book personally, but he likes to watch documentaries and forensic shows. So I take time to watch with him.
- It gives us something to talk about and shows him I care about him in a small way.
- Dress in a way he likes from time to time.
- I wear a pretty dress sometimes just because he likes it… I don’t really like dresses – but I love seeing him light up as he comes home and sees me in his favorite dress.
- He also likes me to wear my hair in pigtails… it feels odd to me, but he likes it. So that is sometimes our Signal
- Do you have a code to let him know you’ve been thinking about sex?
- That is a lot of fun because he likes to know that you still desire him. It shows love to him in his language 😉
Which of these 3 ways to Show Your Husband He is a Priority in your life will you choose to try today? Comment below and I’ll be praying for you!
Are you longing for Hope and Joy in your Marriage?
God took me on a journey of re-learning how to live as a wife with a Biblical Worldview. It is a joy for me to teach and mentor locally and I am thrilled to launch this new Online Course.
In this 9 week Course, we will dig into the Bible and find out how to restore our Marriage – rebuilding it to Last a lifetime!
- 10 Self-paced video lessons
- Desires Vs. Preferences
- My Mouth
- Appreciation & Admiration
- The Leader
- Understanding Men
- My Priorities
- 9 weeks of personal study
- 5 days each week that should take 10-15 minutes
- 45 Days of Prayer prompts
I am excited to giveaway 1 spot in the course! Enter Below.