How to Have Financial Fidelity in Marriage

In another post I did recently on fidelity and frugality in marriage, I spoke on financial infidelity in marriage.  Many couples are facing this right now and have no idea what to do let alone even try to overcome this problem in their marriage.

If this is you, please know you are not alone. There is always hope. Through prayer, patience, honesty, and persistance this problem can be worked through.

What is Financial Infidelity?

Taken from The Simple Dollar,

Financial infidelity is one of the most dangerous things that can happen in a marriage. When one spouse is making significant financial moves without the knowlege of the other, it endangers the financial future of both people and exhibits a disregard for the most fundamental parts of a healthy marriage: trust and communication.

Financial infidelity can simply wreck a marriage when it is uncovered. When a partner discovers a credit card statement that’s charged up to the limit without ever knowing that card existed, their trust for their partner and their idea of financial security are tossed aside simultaneously.

The tricky aspect of financial infidelity is that it can be very hard to detect at times. You might have a sense that something is amiss with your finances, but actually finding out what’s wrong can be a real challenge.

Signs of Financial Infidelity

Below are a few differents signs of possible financial infidelity occuring in a marriage.

  1.  Missing statements for bills, credit cards, or your financial institution.
  2. Unexplained charges on credit cards or loans you don’t remember having.
  3. Unexplained worry over finances, where there was none before.
  4. Your partner has new possessions and is eating out more than normal.
  5. Cash is missing. Or the bank account shows large amounts of unexplained cash being withdrawn.
  6. One partner has developed an obsession with getting the mail.
  7. You have been removed from a joint account.
  8. There is decreased communication over the finances.
  9. One partneer is hiding receipts or purchases from the other spouse.

So, you have noticed maybe a few of these happening in your marriage. Now comes the hard part. Please notice I said the hard part, not the hopeless part.

Read more here from Dave Ramsey on Financial Fidelity…

How to Overcome Financial Infidelity

Proverbs 10:9, He who walks in integrity walks securely, but he who perverts his ways will be found out.
 It may take a hard conversation, but I’m challenging you today to sit down and be honest with your spouse about your money.
financial fidelity
*First, you must remember that as Christians we are to be pure and speak the truth. No hiding of receipts or purchases. No deceitfulness at all, even when it comes to money matters.
Paul said in Colossians 3:9-10, Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.

**Secondly, an open and honest conversation must be had with your spouse on your finances.

Maybe you  have never had a conversation on money before, let alone an indepth one that requires facts.  Take the time to sit down with each other, face each other, and commit to pray together before you begin.
*Finally, use a plan like Dave Ramsey baby steps in outlined in the Total Money Makeover or take a Financial Peace University class together. I promise you won’t regret this. As you seek to live out God’s purpose for your money with your spouse, turn to the Word and make the promise to always respect each other during money conversations.

TRAINING KEEPERS OF THE HOME FACEBOOK PAGE: Become educated, equipped, and encouraged in your role as keeper of the home

Proverbs 3:3-4 says, Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man.

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