Four (Radical) Ways to Love Your Children

Do you remember the first time that you held your newborn baby?  It seemed that your baby could never do anything wrong.  It was love at first glance as a mom.  Your heart was filled with so much love and contentment.

However,  those warm fuzzies last do not last forever and we learn quickly that parenting has many struggles that make it difficult at times to ‘feel’ the love.    But yet we know as parents that we’re to love our children becasuse Christ first loved us. (1 John 4:19)

So what are we to do when the real parenting struggles begin?

Below are four radical ways that will demonstrate how to truly love your child the way the Lord intended.

love children


In order to love your child, you must get to know who they really are. You learn who they are by spending time with them.

When you can spend quality time with your child, no matter what age, that is unhindered by time or distactions, the real bonding process begins.

This is the time to put away your phones, turn off notifications, and focus entirely on your child.


*Get down on the floor and play

*Read a book

*Sing, laugh, or dance

*Rock them asleep

*Watch them play


*Chase them around

*Read a book

*Sit and color

*Tell a story or listen to them talk

*Watch them play


*Color with them

*Read to them

*Go for a nature walk with them

*Teach them Bible stories

*Go grocery shopping and allow them to help

*Teach them to bake, cook, sew, or help Daddy do chores


*Learn how to talk to your teenagers by engaging them in conversations.

*Go for out for one-on-one time to a place of their choosing

*Allow them to dress you for the day or do a makeover

*Discuss future goals

*Tour colleges together

*Invite your child’s friends over and watch them in action. Observe how he/she treats others/responds to others.

Ask yourself these questions:

How do they react in social situations? Shy and reserved? Or outgoing and full of energy?

What are their strengths? Weaknesses?

What does your child like? Dislike?

Favorite foods? Least favorite foods?

What are their goals for the future? Immediate goals?

Take stock of these answers and use it  to your benefit to built upon your relationship with your child.

When you know who they are, what they like, and their strengths/weaknesses it allows you to get to know them even better.

In conclusion, remember that all children need eye contact, human touch, and reassurance of their parents love both verbally and physically.

Observe your child in their natural surroundings and make note of what they gravitate towards.

Enjoy your time with them.

Your children are only going to be at this certain age once in their lifetime. Learn how to not to sweat the small stuff and truly embrace the moment.


Parenting is not easy.  When they are first born, it is easy to love them because they are cute and cuddly, especially for mothers who have ‘the feel good’ hormones rushing throughout their bodies.

Yet at some point, their little personalities develop and we start to see glimpses of who they will become.

Soon that adorable newborn becomes a defiant toddler or a sassy teen.

It is harder to love a child when they are disobedient, defiant, or disrespectful.  Yet this is when they need our love the most.

They still need touch, constant affirmation, and reassurance from us. We are to be the stabilizing force in their lives.  We should not the the one causing them pain or turmoil.

Yet loving our children at their worse does not come easy, so how do we do this?

*Displaying patience

*Being kind

*Forgiving them

*Not taking things personally

*And training them up in the way they should go. Our children need firm boundaries and consequences when they mess up. This may mean a spanking for a toddler, a time out for a preschooler, or removal of an electronic device for a teenager.

We are not to back into a corner and allow them to disrupt the home with their actions and attitudes.   Often love does not come in the form of a feeling, but as an action such as establishing boundaries, maintaining healthy boundaries, and doling out consequences.

Nobody really likes to discipline a child, but a parent that truly loves their child, will discipline their child. (Proverbs 13:24)

  Mamas, we hold the key to their hearts and we lose it, their eternity may be at stake.

A child that is taught to obey truly learns to love the Lord. Once a child is taught to submit to authority, they will have an easier time submitting to the Lord and doing what it is right, instead of their own selfish desires (that may lead them astray causing them to sin).

Learn how to love your child by training them up in the way they should go.

Raising girls to become Godly women

How to raise a son


If you have been on my blog for any length of time, then you know that I often remind women that we set the tone for our homes.  This is done through our attitudes and actions by speaking life through words of encouragement.

“The wife and mother in a family

often ‘sets the tone’ in the home.

The ‘tone’ God wants her to set is one of joy,

optimism, and a delight in the Lord and in her family.”

~ Martha Peace, The Excellent Wife {Page 77}

In his song, Speak Life,  Toby sings the verse “watch them come alive as soon as you speak hope.”  This verse reminds me of the impact that our words can have. Our words can be an encouragement or a discouragement. The very words that we speak can be destructive or a blessing to our husbands and children.

Our words can breathe life into our home or fan the flame that causes it to burn and become destroyed. 

By speaking life into our homes 


Lastly, but the most important is to pray for our children. We pray for our children as mothers because we love them.  Prayer is one way communication to God. He hears about prayers regarding our beloved children.

So why do we need to pray?

We need to pray because the focus of our parenting should not be just ‘here’ and ‘now’, but instead have an eternal focus.

Ephesians 6:12 tells believers, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against
the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual
forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

Our real struggles are not flesh and blood struggles; they are spiritual struggles. Spiritual struggles have to be fought spiritually. John Bunyan, author of Pilgrim’s Progress, said, “You can do more than pray, after you have prayed, but you cannot do more than pray until you have prayed.”

We should pray for our children because they are under constant attack from the world, the flesh, and the enemy.

We are at war every day and if we let our guard down, even for a second, we allow an door to open for the enemy to advance (into our lives).  It is essential as parents that we be consistent about praying for our children.

What to pray about for our children:

*Their salvation

*Physical, emotional, and spiritual safety


*Love of wisdom

*Pursuit of a Godly life

*Avoidance of evil in their lives

*Evidence of fruits of the Spirit

Nobody knows your child(ren) like you do.  Nobody is better equipped to pray for your child than you as a parent.  Even in the toughest and most challenging times of raising your child, he hears the cry of your heart – even when you have no words to express it.


Loving our children is not always easy, but it is mandated by the Lord. We love because He loved us first.

It is easy to love our children when they are good, but that is not always the case.

Even as adults, we are not always ‘good’- yet the Lord never stops loving us.  We show Him that we love Him by spending time in His word, signing songs of worship, and praising Him.

All of these allow us to get to know Him better, and as parents we show our children that we love them by spending time with them, getting to know them, and learning who they are.

We also show our children we love them by disciplining them, speaking life into our homes, and praying for them.

Motherhood is not an easy role, but it is deemed one of the highest callings because of the importance that we play in a child’s life.


Stephanie, Training Keepers of the Home

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