Are You An Easily Offended Person?
Are You An Easily Offended Person?
“Why do so-and-so treat me this way?”
“What did I do to deserve this?”
Does this sound like you or anybody else that you may know?
To be honest, this was me several years ago.
Many of those early years in our marriage, I spent nurturing hurt feelings from the words others spoke to me, often by my own husband and others close to me.
This often made me defensive and angry. The angrier I became the more reactive and dramatic that I became.
It wasn’t until my husband pointed out that I was too ‘sensitive’ and that he was tired of always trying to say the ‘right’ thing in our conversations because he did not want to hurt my feelings.
However, this is a dangerous way to relate to others. Pride has ruined many relationships as a consequence of speaking our minds when our feelings are hurt.
WHAT SHOULD WE DO WHEN WE’RE OFFENDED?
Don’t Take Things So Personal
Learning to not take things that others say personally will help your marriage and in other relationships as well.
When we have become offended by the words of others, we have allowed the power of their words to affect our feelings and dictate our emotions. You have the choice to not be offended or allow your feelings to be hurt.
“It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” 1 Corinthians 13:5
Check the words at the door of your heart. Try your best to look past the words and not receive them with an offended heart.
Stop jumping to conclusions and assuming that you are the intended victim of a comment or action. Perhaps the offendee has something deeper going on (lack of sleep, personal issues, sickness).
Being intentional and choosing to be full of grace will help you not take the words and actions of others too personal.
Let Go of Hurtful Comments
Choosing to let go of hurtful comments that your husband or others have said will be easier once you realize that it is not about you. And once you refuse to be offended, half the battle is won. But you must be intentional about allowing hurtful comments roll off of your back.
“A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.” Proverbs 19:11″
Forgive Each Other
We are reminded in Colossians 3:13 to “bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Your dignity will remain in check when you do not give in to those prideful and defensive reactions that potentially harm your relationships.
It’s what you do with those offenses that determine the nature of your marriage and other relationships, going forward.
Choosing to forgive one another is a crucial step in moving forward in any relationship, keeping the peace, and living life the way God wants you to. There is healing power in forgiveness.
Don’t Worry What Others Think
Ultimately, we should place more of an emphasis on the Word of God and less on seeking the approval of others.
Practice having a graceful heart when those hurtful comments or painful actions occur.
Pray for those words to not take root in your heart and replace those words with the written Word.
“Destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5)
“Do not take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others.” Ecc. 7:21
“Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. For whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit. Let him turn away from evil and do good. Let him seek peace and pursue it.” (1 Peter 3:8-11)
Stephanie, Training Keepers of the Home