Secrets of a Successful Marriage
Divorce is a sad word, it is such a permanent fix for an often temporary problem within a marriage. Too many couples call it quits and head for the courthouse to end their marriages. While I am not claiming to be a marriage expert by any means, I do know that anything precious in God’s sight is worth working on, even in difficult circumstances.
With 50% of marriages ending in divorce in 2017, I wonder how many of these problems that cause marital discord could be improved by honest communication. Allowing pride, arrogance, and selfish ambition into the relationship can be a marriage killer. Seeking to please yourself, instead of looking out for your mate can also set a marriage down a very rocky road.
But what do you do if you want to improve on your marriage? My guest blogger, Natalie Guy, has some help for you in her article,
THREE SIMPLE SECRETS TO A DELIGHTFUL MARRIAGE:
1. YOU NEED EACH OTHER.
When we toss aside our pride and self-sufficiency, we realize our need for each other. Arrogance can crush love quicker than most anything. True love is built on acceptance and kindness toward another; so, protect your relationship with your beloved from the harshness of arrogance. We need our spouses even when there is conflict.
Pride and arrogance tell us we can do things all by ourselves, but marriages are not two people living solo but side by side. Rather than, “Me first,” humility allows us to say, “No, you first.” Humility is the quality that lets us go more than halfway to meet the needs and demands of our mates.
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” C.S. Lewis.
2. YOU CANNOT CHANGE YOUR SPOUSE.
A happy marriage flourishes when both partners are free to be themselves and have choices. We cannot always have things our way. Seek harmony in your relationship with your loved one. Don’t take detours to total agreement. Talk about your differences until there is a full understanding and don’t be afraid of a healthy compromise. We desire to live with our spouses in peace. Accept your mate for who he is and how uniquely God has created him. Celebrate those differences!
Psalm 139:14 (ESV) “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”
3. YOU ARE NOT PERFECT.
We are all flawed, we all make mistakes, and we all are imperfect. It is helpful to admit our weaknesses, our failures, and our shortcomings to one another. Instead of waiting to be confronted with an issue, confess your faults.
Self-righteousness is one of the hardest sins to avoid because it is so much easier to see other people’s faults than to recognize our own. Rather than look for faults in others, let’s try to look for the good in others and work to correct the flaws within ourselves.
Matthew 7:1-5 (MSG) “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.”
What lessons have you learned in marriage? I would love to hear.
“Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” Colossians 3:12
Do you like what you have read and want to see from Natalie? You can find Natalie on her blog, facebook page, and Instagram account.