faith · parenting

Are You a People Pleaser?

We have all been rejected.  It hurts. Some rejections are easier to get over than others. Rejection stinks. 

Nobody wants to be rejected, but if you are a people-pleaser like me it can make the ‘offense’ so much worse. People-pleasers tend to dwell on things that don’t matter in the long run.

I hash over details that are so minute to begin with, but soon become huge in my head. What originally started as a small tiny infraction, becomes a big deal in my mind.

Everybody wants to belong and if you are rejected, it causes that innate ‘need to belong’ to destabilize.  Suddenly, your self-esteem and confidence are at stake. Anger and frustration may surface.

Once on that shaky ground, the path is paved for other hurts to surface and soon the course is set.  You begin to spiral down that road which can be painful.

Unfortunately, some take daily trip down the road of rejection, exposing themselves to the pain that it brings along.

Thinking back after a situation in which I felt rejected, I realized how miserable I was making myself by reliving it. When it fact it was a simple act of rejection, I turned it into something bigger than it should have been. The more I dwell on it, the angrier I became.

My kids have been rejected at school at different times by their friends or at home by their siblings. My husband has had ideas rejected at work.

I see it on facebook daily the ‘rejections’ ya’ll are facing. I see the pain and emotional turmoil it causes. With social media rejection can be taken to an entirely different level now. It is in your face 24/7. Often hard to run away from considering how integrated social media is in our lives.

Looking back at all those times of being rejected, none of them have stopped me from living. I learned from them. I moved on. I changed my ways.

While I am prone to being a people-pleaser,  I have learned I need to want to please God more.  Galatians 1:10 states, “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” 

Who are you trying to please? Who should we be living our lives for? Living for Christ does not mean you do not care about others. Nor does it mean you all of a sudden become callous in your treatment of others. We still need to be kind and gentle, as well as loving and have good will towards our brothers and sisters.

Please know that He knows your pain. He does not want His children sad or hurt, but he knows that the pain will have no eternal value. And often through pain you can find peace in His arms and love.

He will not reject you. He will not hurt you.  However, it is your choice. We have free will to choose. Free will to choose His love, His word, and His son.

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